Reflect and Recharge for 2016
Mellissa reflects on her 2014 New Year's Resolutions and gears up for the next 365 days in 2016!
I’m back at this spot again, rereading my New Year’s Resolutions for 2015 almost a week after the start of 2016! A lot has happened since 31 December 2014, with heartaches and personal struggles that were fortunately outweighed by happier times and laughter. Lots of laughter.
You may still be questioning if setting New Year’s Resolutions hold any value whatsoever, but I guess it’s akin to penning down yearly promises for yourself to look back in retrospect. It’s almost like sending a message in a bottle to the future us, with hopes from the past and present as well as aspirations for the future.
What have you learnt?
One year ago, I made a promise to myself to be emotionally independent.
I can confidently say that I’m in better control of my emotions and expectations than one year ago. I’ve come to terms with my mother’s absence in my life, as best as I ever can. Although I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing her, some days stronger than others, I’m struggling lesser these days.
Somewhere along the way, I’ve learnt that no one will ever be able to replace who she was and what she has taught me for the first 23 years of my life, especially the amazing strength she demonstrated throughout her life and in times of sickness. And no one should ever be able to or need to replace her. Her story is one of its kind and meant to be told in a fitting manner, one that I’ll save for another day. Everyone else whom I’ve trusted and loved for the past year (and more), and who have cared for me in the same way, would fit into my life in their own ways. And that’s more than good enough for me.
I would, hopefully over time, have to make peace with the changes in my life – the exit of people who were detrimental for my future and the introduction of a few others. Sometimes people want different things in life and it’s not within our control or reasoning capabilities whether they should stick around or not. I may have misplaced my trust in others but it was time I walked away with difficult but valuable lessons learnt through those experiences. And always keeping in mind that nothing in life is forever, and change will be the only constant.
Since change will be inevitable throughout this wonderful gift called life, I hope to make changes to various aspects of my life this year. The changes I have in mind for my work, house, fitness, beauty care, personal life, and passion for writing and art are not new. But the one thing I need to build on is the discipline to focus and persevere in what I had set out to accomplish.
The discipline to stop snoozing that alarm, or the three consecutive ones after, every morning.
The discipline to complete household chores and take care of my two red-eared sliders.
The discipline to stick by a simple but consistent exercise regime at the end of a long work day for better performance during competitions, and of course never forget to curb my sweet tooth to hopefully see smaller digits on the weighing scale.
The discipline to apply that toner, day cream, sunblock, night cream and hair tonic for a start.
The discipline to stand firm in what I believe in.
The discipline to set aside time to reignite my passion for writing and art, and not to get distracted along the way. Darn those Running Man episodes…
So yes, in 2016, let’s focus on the discipline to focus and persevere in what I want to achieve!
What do you want to keep?
One year ago, I vowed to continue regular exercises at a high frequency
Apart from my twice a week netball trainings, I’ve joined a gym membership that saw me attend at least three gym classes per week since 31 December 2014. These classes revolved mainly around core balance and yoga, alongside more cardio-centric classes such as zumba and spinning. It helped that I have two regular gym buddies now, as opposed to not knowing anyone at the previous gym I frequented. (Hello gym buddies, you know who you are! :D)
Although I would definitely continue exercising as often as I can, there’s something I hope to take with me from last year into 2016. And that is to continue being courageous enough to try new things in the New Year, in a safe manner of course!
To explore new places…
To try new activities…
There are discussions already in place to try out the 8-hour mangrove kayaking programme over at Pulau Ubin so I’m keeping my fingers crossed we can make that happen! Not forgetting I should pluck up the courage and seize opportunities to snorkel in 2016 so that I will be able to dive and explore the marine world in the future! And that brings me to the next point…
What will you accomplish?
One year ago, I dreamed about learning how to dive.
I had dreams and high hopes for this one, to dive and see the marine life. After all, the third New Year’s Resolution was made for the future right?! But I realized that I had approached this with a lot of idealism and almost no practicality more than 1 year ago.
First of all, I can’t swim. People have always told me that I didn’t need to be a strong swimmer to take diving lessons. But the truth of the matter is that most dive schools would require their students to fulfil some prerequisites like be able to swim 300 meters with full diving equipment and float or thread for 10 minutes without swimming aid. Both of which I’m not confident about since I’ve only visited the swimming pool less than 5 times in the last 5 years!
Second of all, I’ve never snorkelled in open waters. Yes, I’m not even kidding. Although I’ve always wanted to try snorkelling in the sea, the closest thing that I’ve done is to snorkel at Adventure Cove. In an enclosed and safe aquarium. Seriously, in hindsight, I don’t feel prepared to dive at all.
While my long term goal to be a certified PADI Open Water Diver remains unchanged in 2016, I think I would need to accumulate my swimming and snorkelling experiences comfortably and confidently before even pursuing diving certification.
If you’ve read up till this point of an unintentionally lengthy but heartfelt post, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your time. To be honest, I still have my doubts if there is any point in making New Year’s Resolutions. After all, we don’t really need to wait till the start of another year to set goals and work towards accomplishing them.
However, my first attempt at New Year’s Resolutions in 2014 seemed to work well for me last year so I thought, “Why not?” It’s intriguing to me that we will review past year’s resolutions with fresh perspectives and often from different places, physically and figuratively, in life. I believe these New Year’s Resolutions do help us stay on track as we strive for a better year ahead, but remember to think it through and set realistic goals for 2016 if you haven’t already done so. Till 359 days later – have courage and be kind in 2016! Good luck!