The Two Shots of Espresso
Carrie experiences what it feels like to run on Energizer batteries.
And so I had two shots of espresso in my Iced Mocha as I attempted to power myself through another morning meeting at work this Monday. My eyes were heavy and my body felt exhausted. I wasn’t feeling at my optimum level that day (and a few days before as well). I was just tired; I was at a whole new level of “I am really putting in 200% of focus just to function as per normal” and it was pretty much my own doing.
I’m quite the go-getter, if you’ve read my previous posts on Solowandergirl. I like working on things I am passionate about and things I am not so passionate about but just want to do to prove a point or to be responsible. That’s the sort of person I am. That said, I can laze a day away if I had the luxury of time. I love doing that. I can stop and just lie on my bed and do absolutely nothing but scroll through Instagram or Wikipedia the entire Superman series if I so happened to have watched a Superman movie recently (I have an insatiable need to get the whole back story down pat and get a better understanding of whatever I’ve just watched). That’s me, in my best natural state: I am lazy. So imagine a lazy person, with a drive to prove people wrong, a need to be responsible and with a lot of passion about a million little things. Yes, it can get exhausting. Some days I wonder if God made me so, so that I could learn a thing or two about knowing when is the right time for everything.
Anyway, I have digressed! Why was I so tired, you may wonder. It was an accumulation of stuff: working late just because it was going to be two full weeks of things I couldn’t put off (a.k.a everything is now a priority), work-life balance but with the life part of the balance also taking a lot of my time and energy, and I had a full day of work on a Sunday (I was helping my Godmother with some poolside Water Telematches – so this involves, sun, heat, manual labour and a tonne of screaming unruly kids – what a combination) the day before this fateful coffee drinking exercise. What really tipped me into an energy deficit was not being able to sleep well and waking up with puffy eyes because for some reason my sinus would not stop acting up for the past month or so. It saps all my energy to have my eyes itching and watering before I get to bed and to make things worse, I don’t get that 100% recharge I need because of this crappy situation.
With the odds clearly NOT in my favour and another week ahead of craziness (clearly I knew I would be working through another week without rest as I had another one of those telematch thingy events on Saturday AND I had to supervise a shoot at work on Sunday this week), I took a calculated risk – I had a double shot of espresso in my Iced Mocha. I thought, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
What’s the worst that could happen?! I was on my toes and on point throughout the day. It was wham-bam-thank-you-Mam all the way from 12.00pm, till 12:00am. It was just I’ve got this, I’ve got that, I’ve got it all, for almost twelve hours straight. I totally forgot I am hyper sensitive to caffeine. I actually don’t even take coffee on a daily basis because I get really anxious with caffeine in my system. Sometimes it hits me and sometimes it doesn’t. This time though with two shots, I definitely got hit.
It’s a strange feeling when I was on caffeine. I was so powered up and running non-stop. I had inspiration hit me throughout the day. I had so much on my mind that I wanted to accomplish. It was like I was on high alert and I was having a freaking sensory overload. I couldn’t stop to say, “Let’s just do this another day.” I basically just ran a marathon without stopping and slowing down at all. It was like my life instantly generated a checklist that never stopped having tasks added to it and I was checking things off at bullet train speeds. That double shot was madness. I was INVINCIBLE.
At the end of the work day, things were getting weird. I wasn’t getting heart palpitations and all those caffeine overdrive symptoms, BUT I felt so pumped up, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink at this rate. Thankfully, it was a Monday and I was meeting a few friends for an evening run after work at Marina Bay. I knew I had to get the caffeine out of my system AND get myself dead tired at the end of the run.
I zipped through the 5km route within 33 minutes. This was the fastest I ever ran in my entire life. At the 2.5km mark, I took a quick rest before heading off again but this time as I exerted myself to pick up the pace at the start of the turn around, I felt my body go a little limp but I forced myself to complete the run. In that split second when I almost felt like folding, I felt the weakest I had ever been while awake.
I got home after that, collapsed onto bed, and slept.
It made me reflect though about how I’ve been performing day to day in comparison to this day when I had two shots of espresso and pretty much ran on Energizer batteries for the whole day. Maybe every so often, we need a jump start and we’re reminded of just how much we can do if we really put our heart to it. But… I don’t think I’m going to be doing another double shot espresso so soon. There has to be a better way to achieve more without relying on a burst of caffeine energy. I’m still looking for that solution.